grumpyGlobal Numbing a real threat, say scientists
January 23rd 2008 12:07
Along with the gravitational, electrical and the two atomic forces known as the weak force and the strong force, scientists have long wondered if nature might contain a fifth force responsible for what they term “loose associations”.
Strangely enough, events in outer space have offered new data, both definitive and also worrying. Along with the other layers of the outer atmosphere, scientists have long known of the existence of the bozone layer, but until recently had no idea if it served any purpose. This all changed when scientists recently began to study the antics of an, up till now, little understood anti-psion known as the moron. These studies showed that the number of morons in the earth’s atmosphere has been increasing at an accelerating rate since the late 1960’s, concurrent with an, also up till now, unexplained increase in the thickness of the bozone layer.
Scientists now understand that the bozone layer protects the earth from high energy morons from outer space, but that a disturbing increase in the number of low energy morons generated on earth, commonly by interaction with the display devices used in television, computers and video games, has brought about a sizable increase in the thickness and solidity of the bozone layer from inside the atmosphere. This means that, although high energy morons are still being kept safely out of the earth’s atmosphere, the slower, low energy morons, normally absorbed and dissipated within bozone layer are now being reflected back to earth, where it is understood they are responsible for a corresponding rise in loose associations.
Not only has science, by this unusual chance, proved that morons are indeed the carriers of the “loose force”, but that with the strengthening of the bozone layer, the number of morons in the earth’s atmosphere has now reached dangerous proportions. Scientists now understand that this build up of morons has been responsible for the noted changes in the nature of those atmospheric layers known as the cultural layer and the intellectual layer, and they postulate a real threat now exists from what they term “Global Numbing” – a problem which arises from a corresponding increase in tolerance for high moron levels in the earth’s cultural layer.
“If it reaches too far and gets into the intellectual layer, we’re goners,” said one worried physicist. “Global Numbing is real, and it can’t be stopped by half hearted appeals to reason. If we don’t act now, the whole of the earth will be overrun by weak morons.” he said. Asked if there was a solution, he suggested that it was unlikely any government would countenance the necessary actions; that there was too much at stake for them to enforce any real change in the level of Global Numbing. “Without morons they would be out of business,” he said.
One possible solution floated at a recent world conference on Global Numbing was educating the young via the internet by means of a freely available computer game.
Strangely enough, events in outer space have offered new data, both definitive and also worrying. Along with the other layers of the outer atmosphere, scientists have long known of the existence of the bozone layer, but until recently had no idea if it served any purpose. This all changed when scientists recently began to study the antics of an, up till now, little understood anti-psion known as the moron. These studies showed that the number of morons in the earth’s atmosphere has been increasing at an accelerating rate since the late 1960’s, concurrent with an, also up till now, unexplained increase in the thickness of the bozone layer.
Not only has science, by this unusual chance, proved that morons are indeed the carriers of the “loose force”, but that with the strengthening of the bozone layer, the number of morons in the earth’s atmosphere has now reached dangerous proportions. Scientists now understand that this build up of morons has been responsible for the noted changes in the nature of those atmospheric layers known as the cultural layer and the intellectual layer, and they postulate a real threat now exists from what they term “Global Numbing” – a problem which arises from a corresponding increase in tolerance for high moron levels in the earth’s cultural layer.
One possible solution floated at a recent world conference on Global Numbing was educating the young via the internet by means of a freely available computer game.
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Comment by Damo
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I enjoyed this.
Comment by D. Armenta
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There is speculation in the science community that the recent globalization of communications has simply made morons easier to distinguish via their modes of expression. This suggests that the alarming number of recent morons may actually be the same as it always has; they just didn't have access to the internet in decades past.
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